When a Child Cannot See Their Mother: Anxiety, Insecurity, and Ways to Cope

For a child, the mother represents their first and most vital source of security. When a child cannot see their mother for an extended period, or when unfamiliar faces appear at home, it may provoke feelings of anxiety, fear, and helplessness. In response, many children begin to cry or resort to self-soothing behaviours such as sucking their fingers, biting their clothing, or repeatedly sitting down on the floor. These are common emotional reactions in early childhood.

What You Can Do:

  • Approach with empathy: Most children go through such phases. Try to understand their emotional needs instead of dismissing their behaviour.
  • Do not force socialisation with strangers: Even if someone is close to you, never push your child towards unfamiliar people against their will. This can heighten their fear and resistance.
  • Use play to distract and comfort: Instead of pacifiers or finger-sucking, offer colourful, engaging, and age-appropriate toys to draw their attention and comfort them.

 

When Children Feel Frustrated:

Once a child learns to crawl, they become curious explorers. They rush about, trying to touch, climb, or pull things. This can sometimes lead to accidents, such as pulling heavy objects onto themselves or accessing unsafe items. When you intervene for safety, it may increase their stubbornness or lead to tears and frustration.

What You Can Do:

  • Child-proof the space: Instead of saying “no” repeatedly, make the environment as safe as possible. Remove lightweight or sharp furniture, dangling wires, breakable objects, or anything that could pose a danger.
  • Avoid keeping pets nearby: During this stage, it is advisable not to have dogs, cats, rabbits, or other pets around, as they might accidentally frighten or scratch the child.
  • Introduce engaging alternatives: Provide your child with safe and interesting toys that can keep them occupied and foster learning.
  • Be present: Your presence is the most comforting and reassuring factor for your child. Spend quality time with them daily.

 

Between the Ages of One and Two:

At this stage, most children cry not due to physical pain but emotional discomfort. As they begin to move away from constant physical closeness with the mother, they still experience irrational worries—such as the fear of losing their mother or facing unfamiliar people. You may notice your child becoming uncharacteristically silent or withdrawn when encountering strangers.

What You Can Do:

  • Offer more emotional presence: Your closeness and attention are crucial during this transitional period.
  • Encourage new experiences: To support emotional growth, gently introduce your child to new games and activities. Applaud their achievements and reward small milestones to build confidence.
  • Support individuality: Your child is gradually beginning to recognise their own identity. Allow them space to explore without harsh restrictions. Rather than stopping them, guide and support their efforts.
  • Instil a lasting sense of love: Ensure that your child feels deeply loved. If a child grows up with the thought, “My mother’s love is always with me,” it lays the foundation for emotional resilience and curiosity for learning.

 

Expert Insight:

According to child development specialists, “joy and security” are the most essential pillars of emotional growth. Tantrums, crying, or frustration in young children are typically rooted in emotional—not physical—causes. What they need most is sensitive parenting, patience, and a nurturing environment. These are the building blocks for raising a self-assured and emotionally healthy individual.

 

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